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English - Chinese - English

The results of translations from Chinese to English are quite often hilarious, and so are translations performed by automatic translation tools. So why not combine the two for some fun?

Reportedly, when the first bi-directional English-Chinese translation computer was finally completed, the computer scientists and electrical engineers fed the phrase "Out of sight; Out of mind" into the machine, then fed the output Chinese translation back in. The response was "Invisible idiot". :)

Translation technology has likely improved since then, and has thus unfortunately become less funny. To test this, I ran a bunch of English sentences through Yahoo's Babelfish English-Chinese translator, and then ran the resulting Chinese back through the Chinese-English translator. Here are some funny results that came up:

Out of sight, out of mind
Outside line of sight, outside brains

I had a gut feeling that something was up.
I have an intestines feeling which something rises.

The sunset took my breath away.
The sunset makes me be dumbfounded.

To be or not to be, that is the question.
The survival destroys, that is a question.

When the smoke cleared, they were gone.
When the smoke eliminated, they go.

They are in dire need of organ donors.
They are the urgently needed organ subscribers.

It was a heart wrenching sight.
It is the heart wailsome sight.

All the while, the president had been lining his pockets.
President has been situated his pocket.

The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.
Becomes richly richer, becomes poorly poorer.

Reluctantly, she opened the fridge.
She has turned on the refrigerator reluctantly.

The visitors did not behave well at all.
The visitor simply does not have well to display.

She was very pretty, and did not look her age at all.
She is very pretty and simply has not looked at her age.

He had never done this before, but now he was finally going to realize his life-long dream.
He has not made before the surface, but he plans the experience life-long dream now finally he.

He vowed to undo the damage he had caused.
He pledged that cancels other party has become damage.

Obesity is an increasing problem among teenagers and young adults.
The obesity is in the youth and a young adult's growth question.

Too little too late.
Too few queen mothers.

He did not like it when other people would put words in his mouth.
When other people in his mouth, will invest the word he not to like.

In many cities, parking space has increasingly become an issue.
In many cities, the parking spot has become the question more and more.

Suddenly the lights went out.
The light closed suddenly.

Our research of the living cell has barely scratched the surface.
Our survival cell's research has not grasped the surface nearly.

Depressed Borg

A depressed looking Borg says: "Existence is futile... you will be FRUSTRATED"
Depressed Borg

Nice teapotty!

A nice porcelain teapot--in the shape of a toilet.
Nice teapotty!

The simplest self-propelling device ever

Homopolar roller

Who knew a simple battery, some magnets and a piece of copper wire could produce so much nerdy fun? :)

Fundamental laws of the universe

  • If it's bad, it's possible.
  • You can find anything you have lost, as long as you are looking for something else.
  • The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the likelihood of being able to scratch.
  • The lower your zipper is, the lower your credibility will be.
  • There is no end to the amount a person can accomplish, as long as it isn't what they're supposed to be doing.
  • Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
  • Of all the fundamental forces of the universe, the strongest is the will of a woman.
  • Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way (Murphy's law).
  • You can have it cheap, fast or good. Pick two.
  • All roads lead to McDonald's.
  • Sometimes the best way to get through is to go around.
  • As a rule, there will always be an exception.
  • The quality of the napkins at any given restaurant is inversely proportional to the messiness of the food.
  • It usually takes at least three socks to make a pair.
  • The better the shoe fits, the uglier it must be.
  • Procrastination is the only thing guaranteed to get done.
  • The probability of being watched is proportional to the stupidity of what you're doing.
  • Entropy .

Marvin, the depressed web server

I usually don't intentionally put broken links here to send people to "404" error pages, but that is exactly what I'm doing now. But this is not your standard boring 404 page. This will be especially funny to people familiar with the hilarious Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. (If you're not, better go do something about this glaring deficiency in your culture! :))

So, without further ado, I am sending you to a file that doesn't exist on a web server named Marvin .

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